dad got his early Christmas present
but truth be told, i think we (the children) are, to a certain extend, just focus on our own timetables, and ignoring his needs, or request. we just assume that he is as capable as he was before. On my part, I always see my dad as this very independent person, who is very organised and just go for what he wants ...he seldom request things from us, he is always quiet and contend with what he does ..he is the one we go to when we are in trouble...he is quiet but he gives sound advice ....someone we rely on very much and the one who provide us with basic grounding to life.....along the way, I forget that he is getting old (he retired in Jan 2003 at the age of 55 years old) ...i forget that he may need us more now than before ..and that he might feel "useless" as he is no longer working / earning and have to rely on us for something ....i mean, he is financially independent, never ask a penny from us ....in fact he is the one who give money to the grandkids ...and the one who pay for the utilities bills in my house (he insisted!)....in my dad's case, he is relying on us to chauffer him around Kuching ...he admits that his reflexes are not as fast as before, and he does not want to drive in Kuching, where the cars are just everywhere ....he would still drives himself to Sri Aman and the cottage and the longhouses as those routes have less traffic ....
A friend of my said, she also faces similar situation with her dad. The more she tried to take care of her dad, the more her dad rebels ...the dad said, he felt very useless and he is not allowed to do anything anymore ...so that same friend advised me to just let my dad does anything he wants, and tried not to restrict his movement ...and to ask them, from time to time, to help me with something - so that he will be useful again ...it is something that I never thought of myself...I just want to take care of them ,and put them in a bubble wrap ...and do nothing ...as i feel that it is high time we, the children, are looking after him ...but I never realise that the parents might construe the situation differently ....
I hope I will have more time with my dad (and my mum too, of course) ...i could not imagine my life without him ....and leaving in January is hard for me now that my dad is unwell ...i hope, and pray that he is blessed with good health, happiness and longevity ...I love you dad!!! I may not say it often, but I do ....
3 comments:
We can try our best to make them hapoy and be with them as much as we can. Selebihnya kita redha. I know u hv been a great daughter ejin. Keep it up.
yes, ejin i agree with fendi...you are one great daughter...jauh ranking kau dari aku...should be blessed with the time that you able to spend with him...you did good so far!
tu lah ..risau tengok my dad semacam macam tu ...but the last few days dah macam his normal self ..hopefully he will be ok. Thanks guys for the words of encouragement!
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