a long period of silence

My last posting in this blog was months ago ...i was active in the other blog as it is more on my activities ..the things that I done, and as a mean of updating my dear friends of my activities ...always happy occasions ...food, party, sight seeing and merriment ...but i was reluctant to update this blog, as I felt this is more personal to me ...so, I have been thinking that I need time to rethink this new phase of my life ..i need time to re-adjust to living in Wellington ..i need time to reflect on the past ..i need to know how strong I could be..and how strong I must be in order to achieve what I have set myself to achieve ...

sounds cliche? perhaps ...but I was finding it a bit hard to settle down here ..the first month was the hardest ...trying to cope with my new responsibility ...as a student, under scholarship..with pressure and expectation, a new challenge as I was basically "taken out" from my comfort zone ...yes, I admit that I was so comfortable in my last position back home ..and here I am, in a foreign land where I do not know anybody when I first arrived ...and missing the boys terribly ....this is actually our longest separation period ...i was trying to take everything in my stride ...it was hard ...as I was trying not to let my parents and my siblings know how I really feel ..putting a brave face ..and trying to be cheerful ...i am person who always hide behind my smiles, I am good at that...I smile a lot and people around me think I am so happy and no problem to think about...they were wrong, there were times that I cried myself to sleep because I miss Al and adik so much ...when I knew that my mom or my dad were unwell ...when I knew that my only sister was hospitalised and having an operation...and knowing that I am so far away, and couldn't do anything about any of it was heart breaking ...

I am blessed to have many friends here ...despite only being here for only 5 months now ...I went out practically every weekends...potluck dinners, bbq dinners, drinks, sight seeing, sleep-overs..you name it, my weekends were always full of activities...and yet, sometimes I still feel I am so alone, despite being surrounded by people ...don't get me wrong, they are really really wonderful friends ...helping me in so many ways ...they have all been very kind to me, I really do appreciate their friendship...but, I guess there are times that I just felt so far from my family and close friends ....but I always tell myself, I choose this path ...it was my own decision to pursue this PhD journey ..and I know that it is going to be a long journey, and mine has just started ..I know all that ....it makes me more determined to finish this as soon as I possibly can ...

And doing a PhD is a different ball game altogether ...there are times I feel so stupid and cannot understand what my supervisor wanted me to do ...it is like he was talking in different language altogether! There are times that I read ...and read ...and read ..but I still don't understand what I was reading!!! and the guilt set in ...as I was guilty of all the time that I wasted by not being productive ...and that guilt spiraled into depressing thoughts and translated into a somewhat study-distruptive behaviour ...and I am only 5 months into PhD ...imagine how I will have to cope and motivate myself to be strong for the next 3 years ....

and another form of distraction has been from people in my past ...i received unwanted communication from my past life that really pissed me off ...some people just cannot get over the fact that I have move on ....and that being single doesn't mean that i am pining for companion ...but it is sort of a blessing in disguise for me ...because it made me realised that I can tell trusted friends about my past ..and I did not cry ...i don't feel anything anymore ...and it just struck me that I am completely and utterly free from that episodes ...people said that you are healed when you can talk about it without crying anymore ...i used to think it was a cheesy line ...but, heyyyyy ..i realised that I am so over it that it did not bother me at all ..so, hoorayy for that ...

At the moment, my only focus in life is to finish my PhD ...and to be happy with my family ...I have come to a decision that I will try my very best to achieve these important aims of mine ...sacrifices have to be made ....i have to be strong and determined ..there will be times when I will falter, but i must remind myself, I need to pick myself up again ...that's called life ...

so, maybe..just maybe...this new phase in my life will make me into a stronger person...and yes, I am still searching for my rainbow ...for now, my rainbow is known as PhD :-)

Shaista's Chicken Briyani

My flatmates and I had a grand time cooking the last few days ...we seldom see each other due to our busy schedules ..i am not a morning person, so I always wake up later than my flatmates ...and they are usually gone by the time I am up ...and I often stayed back at the office till 6 or 7 and usually my habit is to heat up leftovers for dinner - if there is any ...or cook up some quick and simple dish for dinner ..hence, i was always not in the kitchen for a long time ....Shaista and Pupei always cook dinner and I seldom cook at the same time as them ...Maryam, on the other hand, is always busy and comes back to the flat late at night - where she usually had her dinner at school ....

but last few days were different ...i think because of the cold weather, most of us came back early and want to have some nice hot meals ....and somehow decided to cook briyani together ...or rather, Shaista cooked the chicken ...Maryam cook the rice while I did the cuttings of vege for salads etc ...the result was outstanding :-) and i said that sincerely from the bottom of my heart .....

Apart from the main dish of chicken briyani, she also made raita and onion salad ...it was like a full set of meal ....worth a repeat :-) and I am volunteering to help cut the vegetables ...or washing up afterwards

the onion and cucumber salad ...all sliced thinly by yours truly :-)

potato raita ..with chickpeas

Shaista assured us that this is a complete Pakistani meal ...and you know what, that was really delicious ...worth a repeat

pre-festival brunch at Nicole's

Last week was Newtown Festival ..initially planned to go there with Maryam, my flatmate coz it is her case study area ...then a couple of days before the festival, Maryam invited me to go with her to her friend's Nicole place for brunch ...she lives in Newtown and orgnised this brunch for her friends before they all go for the festivities ...I tagged along with Maryam and her friend from school, Nabil, ...and guess what, we walked from our place all the way to Newtown ..and it was like a 40-45 mins journey on foot ...it was not bad until i saw some hilly parts, but the weather was kind  of nice ..so walking was ok ..plus there was three of us, and we were talking non-stop, so it was kind of not too tiring ...until ...we came to a very (and I mean very!!!) steep hills ..My God! I would never rent a house that is on the top of the hill..and being the last house on the street ...was really out of breath when I arrived at Nicole's place ...even Maryam who walks to and from school everyday was out of breath climbing up that street ..and it is harder for us coz Nabil kept pressuring us to walk faster as were are actually late! the invitation was for 10am ...but by 10 we were still walking :-)

 wonderful view from Nicole's balcony ...was told that the view of the sunset from this balcony is spectacular!

To my surprise, when I arrived there I saw familiar faces ...Kak Shidah and another Malaysian couple were there ..so happened that she and Nicole were in the same school ...and i get to meet other people as well ..but the food was the highlight of the visit ...My God!!! It was such a huge spread ..and all was homemade ...the hostess is a great cook ..and she did all her baking! Very impressed ...but not many photos coz I was shy to take photos ...and only took the photo after most of the food were gone ...and believe you me, the food were done very quickly...especially the smoked salmon pastries puffs...vege quiche ...and the cakes ..

apple tree at the backyard

Nicole made lots of breads ...and there were homemade jams as well ...one that people kept saying a really good was the one the plum and ginger jam ..I did not taste it as I dont feel like having ginger in my jam and toasted bread ..and there were muesli ...bagels and cream cheese ...various cakes and cookies ...muffins and scones ...and that is not even a comprehensive list!

see - lots of empty trays ...the vege quiche was very nice ...but i love the smoked salmon puffs more! and she just bought a waffle maker - so the highlight of the day was the waffles ...

the plum and ginger preserves

this was my favourite of all ...cheese and tomato scones ...yummy to the max!

one of the loaves that she baked for the party ..

I get to meet a couple of people there ...especially Maryam's friends from school ...it was nearly 2pm that we went down to join the festival ..it was well underway by then ...lots of people, foodstalls selling variety of foods - from Africa, Indonesia, Moroccco, India, Hungary ..just to name a few ...will do another posting on the festival later ...

 one of the food stalls ...

I was joining their group that day ..the lady in white is Maryam's friend ..and the other guy is a friend of Nicole, whom we just met that day ...they were there for the music ...but Maryam, Nabil and I were more for the atmosphere and to what it is all about ..and the food of course ...so, the three of us went back to town by 4pm ...and instead of taking the ubus, we walked for another 45 mins ...a crazy day of walking at such great distances ...and guess what, we did not go home straight away, but went to the Bay and the museum first! Then that night I slept so early ..and didnt wake up till the following day ...was tiring but fun! and the food made it more awesome ...and memorable ..

lunch entertainment

Hello ..i am doing a posting via my mobile for the first time...am so bored and out of my mind with too much things to do. I have classes 3 days a week and on top of that i am expected to complete bits and pieces for my phd ..but not complaining too much here coz i love both my lecturers ..so cool and both has very interesting ways of delivering lecture ..in a way i am also learning how to teach better in classes as well...

taken just now in my Statistics Class ..huge class!

anyway ..i just had my last class for this week ...felt relieved that i can now focus on my readings and can stay put in my office without having to move from one lecture halls to another ..so decided to have my lunch outside...instead of having it on the go while typing in front of the PC. So here I am having my packed lunch of fried noodles and omelette..enjoying the view ..feeling good about myself till this group of students sat not far from me and started thier conversarion...

such a boring conversation ..i couldnt help but hear them coz they are talking so very loud ..this really opinionated guy was dominating the conversation ..and talked about the economy in USA and comparing to the rest of the world ..he cited examples from China..Indonesia ..Philipines ..Singapore ..Taiwan ...and i guess his friends did not like him much ...little by little people left him ...hahaha he did not give anybody a chance to speak! and now as I am typing, he is left with his grilfriend ....and the others just left ...

that's my lunch entertainment for today ...

Have a great weekend people :-)

First class in Vics

Today marks the first day of my classes ...it is like so weird coz usually I am in the front talking nonsense ...hahaha but this morning I was one of the students attending my first lecture at Vics. Thought I was early by arriving 5 minutes early ...but by the time I arrived, the huge lecture theatre at Kirk Building was nearly full ...turns out that the stream that I enrolled in was full to its capacity ie. 400 students per stream ...and the afternoon stream also has full house ...

I never ever had this many students in this class before ...even when I was in Newcastle, the class was never this big ...and since it is a "calculating" subject, i dont know how it is gonna work ...but we will be having tutorials and drop in sessions as well throughout the week ...and the funny thing is that when the lecturer - who was highly recommended by my SV - told us that each tutorial group should be between 40-50 ppl ...but they only prepare rooms for 30 people in a group - coz attendance is not compulsory and many people will be skipping classes and tutorials ...ehehehehe sounds so much similar to the case back home in Malaysia :-)

was told that we will be needing graphic calculator ....and he said the brand new one costs about $135 ....bloody hell ...it is so expensive!!!! and there are cheaper version but not as good as that one ...i am going to go for a cheaper version tomorrow ...

and we were also told that we need to get the text book ...the new one costs $80-90 hahahaha that is equivalent to one nice pair of jeans here ...or a nice jacket (on sale price!) ...or a pair of boots!!! so what did I do??? I went to trademe - a website where we can buy or sell pre-loved items or even finding a roommates, car, etc etc. And guess what - a lot of copies of the textbook in question and the prices vary ..ranging from $30 - $80 for second hand books ...but, lucky me, I bought one book for ....wait for it .....jeng jeng jeng ...$20 (plus $5 delivery charges) ...cheap ehhhh ..hahaha i am so happy!!! at least i am saving approximately $60 there :-)

anyway, this class is a one hour class so, we are having 3 classes a week ...today was ok ...and I am hoping the rest will be ok as well ...i am not looking forwards to its 7 assignments, mid term test and final exam test. Was told that the final exam test is a 3-hour exam!!! Has been so long since I do tests of this nature ...wish me lucks guys ...

One month on ...

I have been here for a month!!! yeayyyyy!!!! after such a long process and delay to get here, i am finally here ..the first week was hard - as I was missing the boys so much ..but four weeks on, I felt like I have been here longer than these measly four weeks :-) 

once upon a time, when I first started, my study desk at the flat was like this ...now, you could barely see the surface as it is covered with lots of things ...papers, books, maps, photographs ..the occasional food wrappers (for survival, eating is a must!)

I have been rather preoccupied with works ...with readings and various tasks ..my SV have been piling up a lot of reading materials on my desk, and me being the perfectionist, always wanted to do those reading as soon as it was given to me. So far so good ..i managed to get things done the way i wanted to ..but as the weeks get on ..i find that it is harder to do so ..not that i don't know how to do it (i mean it is just reading) ..but the more i read, the more i discuss with my SV, the more complex the issues become ....and the more confused i become ....i thought i had everything nicely done before ..thought i know about what i wanted to do ...know the area of study ...hahaha what a joke ...within 4 weeks my SV and i had meet 5 times ...and we have managed to dissect my proposal  ... i am happy with it now, and so does Phil....but it is far from over ...i still need LOTS of work to make it presentable, logical, academically sound bla bla bla ....

I was confused a lot of time hahahaha but luckily i remember what Dr M taught me before ..he said that you will bound to be confused - dont know what to do - have to redo things a couple of time -but that is all good ...as it means that you are thinking ..if you are not confused, that means that there must be something seriously wrong hahahaha the wise words from my mentor! And when i was so stress out, i had a talk with him ..hahaha and guess what, he told me not to work so hard at the early stage :-) so, here i am updating my blog, doing some blogwalking, and relaxing in front of boring Kiwi telly programmes ..basically doing nothing at all hahaha ...and it feels good!

and next week marks another chapter to my road to PhD ...was advised to enroll in a statistics course ...coz it will be very beneficial to me later on when it comes to my data analysis stage... i am using mixed methods but i am not so familiar with quantitative methods - especially in constructing composite indices ..and my SV had managed to persuade me that composite indices are very significant in my research ...ergo, i have to attend proper statistics class ...and it is not just a "sit-in" exercise - Phil said that if it is just a sit-in exercise, I may not pay as much attention to it ...so I am enrolling as a "proper" students ...and there will be assignments and exams ...if i am not mistaken the final exams will either be 100% or 75% ...arghhhhhhh ....not something that I am looking forward to...but, like fendi said - aku kan suka cabaran - hahaha so I am giving it my best ....the classes is 3 hours a week but they split it into 3 one-hour classes ...and on top of that I will be sitting in another theory class ...it is a three-hour lecture and finishes at 7pm ....so definitely getting busier starting next week ...

and it will only be my second month of PhD ..still a longgggggggggg way to go ...

missing my mom

Two sundays ago, I went for a walk with my flatmates ..we were bored, and went to Botanic Garden. It is not far from our place, but it is such a hilly place ...i put all the pictures in the other blog (check it out) ..the flowers are awesome .but i am kind of sad as it really reminded me of my mom...my mom loves roses ..we used to have this really big bush of red roses at home in Sri Aman ..and smaller buses of small pink roses ..and she also plants some red roses at our house in Kuching ...i miss those roses at my backyard!

I took a lot of pics of the roses and sent it to Jane via whatsapp and FB so that Jane can show them to mom ..as expected, she was in awe ...hahaha my mom is easily pleased! but, i miss her so much ...and seeing those roses really tug at my heart string!somehow I dont think I will be taking here though (when she visits me here/ coz it is too hilly and she is definitely not able to climb those steep hills ..unless I take her by car and park at the entrance of Lady Norwood Rose Garden :-)

these are just a couple of photos - there are so many beautiful roses there at Botanic Garden ...plenty of vibrant colours :-) I just wish my mom is here with me ..i miss our gossiping moments ..our mother-daughter moments ..but thank God for technology. I can actually video call her thru TALK on my phone ..it is not the same but at least we can see each when we are talking ...

me and my mom, with my nephew and niece ..taken a few days before I left for Welly

Little Penang, Wellington

One of the first cafes that I saw when I was exploring Wellington a day after I arrived here is Little Penang ...my heart was dancing with joy when I saw the menu ..they offer asam laksa in their menu! How happy I was coz it is one of my fav food hahaha ...fav food in a long list of fav foods hahahaha ..the day I found this small cafe I did not eat there, as I already had a late breakfast ...but last Saturday, I went there for lunch ..and guess what did I order??? of course, it is my favourite dish ...the assam laksa 

it wasn't that spicy ...but I love it ...it will be one of my favourite places to visit when I am down or stress ..i know it will be my place to drown my sorrow or to cheer me up ...coz everyone who knows me know that I am easily cheered up with food :-)

Amongst others Little Penang's menu also include nasi lemak, karipap, teh tarik, ais kacang, bubur cha cha ..bubur pulut hitam ..char kuey teow ....just to name a few :-)

I always carry a paperback with me ...to read while waiting for my lunch ..while waiting for the bus etc ...my current reading is this paperback by Jonathan Kellerman ... makes a change from my heaps of journal articles and books ...

anyway, so far I have tried the assam laksa at Little Penang ...and before this I had tried the char kuey teow at Cinta ...maybe i should try Satay Kajang House for my next meal??? Watch this space ...

Student life

It is a huge change for me ..usually I am the lecturer and giving advice or guidance to students doing their final year projects ..but now the table is turned..I am on the other side of that table now ...it is a bit weird ...and now, I am on my 3rd week as postgraduate student here in Wellington ...so many changes ..so many things I have to learn ..and life as I know it is basically gone ....

gone were the days where I go to work, and had lunches at Pinang Bistro with my friends ..gone were the days where I just work and then come back home to yummy home cook meals ...gone were the days that I spend time with the kiddos ...it is now such a lonely existence ...I study ...go to my office ....go to the library ...discuss with my sv ..go back to my flat ...and looking forward to video talk with my family ...and at the back of my mind - I want to finish early (well, who doesnt?) so that I can be home soon ....

well there is a saying that says "If life give you lemons, make lemonade.." ...so, I am making a promise to myself that I will enjoy my NZ experience ...whilst at the same time study like mad (afterall, this is the main reason I am here...)..i am not focusing all 24 hours of my day 7 days a week on my study ...I want to know more about Wellington - its tourist attractions ..its best kebab shops ..or best fish and chip places ...just to name a few ....i did that last weekend - exploring the city on my own ....next weekend, I will go to different place ....and the weekend after that .....i dont want to be holed up in my office or my flat ...I want some me time ....

view from VUW

I was given an office space - sharing with 3 guys ...I dont really like my office coz at first glance, they are not so friendly ...but my sv persuaded me to try the room when i told him that i prefer to do my work either in the library or my own flat ...my sv said, it should try the office (even though he know that I was hinting for a change of space) ..and I did give it a try ...and a week on, I find that I can work well in the office ...there is no noise as everyone is busy with their own thing ...but now the guys are talking to me, so I dont feel like I am an outsider anymore ...plus, I got to know where things are - like the pantry, the toilet (hahaha this is important!), the vending machine and so on ...it starts to feel familiar ...

I suppose what I am trying to say is that, I miss my "old routines" and I have become very complacent and comfortable in that environment ...but coming here and becoming a student is a new challenge for me ...I cant be complacent anymore ...been struggling hard to fight the black dragon in order to come here, so I know I have to work hard ...but, i am a postive person...will be working smart instead and spend some time for myself ....so if life gives you lemons, make lemonade people ....and that will mke us enjoy our life ..and be stress-free :-)

Wellington Sunday Market (Willis Street)

I have to face the fact that I need to do a lot more cooking if I were to live within my budget when I am here ..Unlike in Malaysia, where food are cheap and easily available, here things are more expensive (considering the exchange rate and all) ...last Wednesday, I went out for a dinner out with my flat mates to Cinta - one of the Malaysian eateries here in Wellington, and I can roughly estimate how much a meal out would cost ..the portions are huge, mind you!  It is a treat to be able to eat out and not having to cook ...but, honestly, if I were to keep to my budget, i will not survive long ..hahaha as the cheapest main mean there is between NZD10 - 12 ...i had done a posting on that outing in the other blog (check it out!)

So, I was introduced to the Sunday Market by my flatmates ...Maryam loves fruits and veges and she took me to the Sunday Market on Willis Street Car Park last week ...the prices are very much cheaper than the fruits and veges at the supermarket ...but if you want to get a fresh produce, come early ...as they say, early birds get the worms (eeewwwwww!!!!)

you are free to pick and choose whatever you want here ..and bring the chosen items to the front where the sellers will calculate your purchase  very different from my experience in Newcaastle, where you have to tell the seller what you want, and they will weigh and get the items for you ..and most of the time, i ended up with fruits and veges that are not that good anymore ...here, you can choose for yourself- which is great!!!

 

and unlike in Newcastle, I can easily find veges like in Malaysia - sawi, labu air (though I dont eat it), morning glory (kangkong), lemongrass, galangal and herbs like basil (selasih), kesum and so on ...it is great ...these are also widely available in Asian Suermarket, albeit at a higher price (that's what I am told coz I have yet to go to the Asian Market)

a bunch of morning glory (kangkong) is NZD2 a bunch ..last week I saw there was a stall which sell it at NZD1 ..i guess, depending on the seller

there are really cheap stuffs here ..like a head of brocolli (very fresh) is only a dollar ..similar prices for cauliflower, celery etc ...coz different stalls have different prices, it is a matter of going round the stalls to check out the prices ....there are also stalls which sell a not so fresh item, and of course they are much cheaper ..like last week i bought a bag of button mushroom for NZD1.50, but if i were to buy the most fresh mushroom it is NZD8.99 a kilo ...huge difference! so, take your pick ...and Maryam got a huge celery today for only a dollar, and when w went to the Metro on Willis, a similarly size celery is NZD4.99 ...again, huge difference ...

love the vibrant colours!

Judging by the advantages of buying fruits and veges at the Sunday Market, you can definitely bet that I will be shopping here every sunday! I need to save money - as Fendi said - save money for my travels! By the way, there is another Sunday Market here in Wellington, the other one is near the harbour and a bit far from my flat ...but maybe, I will check that one out one of these days :-)

Week 1 in Wellington

I am in Wellington now ...finally! I have been here for over a week, and during that time have already met my SV twice :-) but as i said in my shared blog with my friends, so far so good ..and I am hoping things will go smoothly for me....

Anyway, left Kuching on Monday, 29th Jan for a morning flight to Singapore, and after an 8 hour transit in Singapore, I left for Sydney using a British Airways flight ..the long 8 hour journey was comfy as I was given a business class seat (woot woot!!!) and managed to sleep for almost 7 hours! Arrived early morning to a wet and cold Sydney, and after a two and half hour transit, got into the connecting flight to Wellinton. A flight that took about 3 hours landed on a hot sunny Wellington at 2.30 pm Welly time ...and by then I was so tired I could barely think straight ...it was about 28 hours since my flight left Kuching ..and the journey was long and dragging!

I had requested for a pick-up at the airport before that, so I was not worried about how to get to my flat ....so, to see this lass holding a placard with my name on it was a great relief ....and an hour later I was sent to my flat at Wai-te-ata ...found out i am sharing a flat with an Iranian PhD student and n Indonesian Master students ...both are nice and welcoming ...when Maryam knew I had just arrived after a long journey, she even made me some tea ..and gave me a plate of fruits! How nice of her  ..and she is the one in the room opposite me :-) ..then Anita came home from her class ..and she cooked extra noodles for me ..coz she said  should eat something and not bothered about going out to find food that day ..as I was so tired ..so, after a quick dinner with Anita, I slept like a log and woke up late the next day ....

Now it has been over a week ...Anita has taken me shopping for groceries at Pak & Save at Kilbirnie ...had shown me Asian Market behind Pak & Save ...and how to use the bus  ..and Maryam had taken me to Sunday Market at Willis Street ..and the New World Supermarket nearby ...I explored the uni and the surrounding a couple of times ...and so far everything is ok ...so, this is going to be my home for the next 3 years ...

leaving them was hard ...and they miss me too apparently ..and Thank God for skype, viber and Talk!

 on a nice sunny day

 did I mention that Wellington is such a hilly area?

but with awesome view of the sea and the harbour :-)

Chilling at the cottage

One of our favourite places to chill is the cottage ...we love it there ...it is quiet, and away from people ..we have a complete privacy there ..and we dont usually have visitors there -sort of by invitation only (feeling ala ala celebrity) ...

the kids love it here coz they are able to just play outside the house ..and lots of activities to do ...there is a fish pond and a natural river at the back, and that is where we usually go for fishing ...mum and myself love to potter round the cottage and its gardens ....dad love it out here coz he has lots of fruit trees here ...both mum and dad tend to go here when they want to get away from their babysitting duties hehehe ....

  Photo was taken by Al - dad was trimming what he hope to be the main landscape feature of the cottage - he plan to have this plant to grow and be shaped as a welcoming arch :-)

Fruit picking is one of the fun activities here at the cottage ...lots of rambutans, cempedaks, jackfruits, durians and what nots here ...but for the first time ever, last Dec we harvested our mata kucing ...it was fun!

not bad for a first harvest :-)

It is kind of nice to have a place to go to just to chill ...and what makes it great was it is a completely private place ....still a lot to be done here but we are taking our time ...

counting the days

Last Friday was my last official day at work ...I didnt even know it till lunchtime that day ...was so busy with marking and keying in the marks that I had forgotten about checking my leave. Once the marks were endorsed, and when I wanted to apply for leave, I realised that I had 6 days leave to take ..and I can only take 4 days since there is a public holiday next week hahaha and guess what, i had mixed feelings about all this ..one the one hand, I am excited but I am somehow feeling something is not right ..like I am leaving a place that is so comfortable and familiar ..and somehow it is difficult for me to let go ...but  i know i have to go ..coz it is my dream. I have been fighting so hard for this chance ...

and since yesterday I have been trying to be realistic ...I have started to pack some of my stuffs ..much to the displeasure of Al - who kept on pulling things out from my luggage ...and I also started to spend more time (as much as I can) with the kids ...I am so gonna miss them!

And being realistic means I am finally making a list of what I should do, bring or buy ...amongst other I have to:

(i)   get all my documents copied and certified,
(ii)  settling all my standing orders so that all my payments are on time;
(iii) clearing personal items from my office; and
(iv) making time to meet my close friends for farewell hahaha and that usually involve food!

But one thing that I am so happy to have done before I go was to spend the weekend with my besties ...had a really fun weekend in KL last week ...just chilling and relaxing with friends ...an awesome weekend!

Christmas at the longhose 2012

We celebrated Christmas at the longhouse last year ...Dad has been renovating the longhouse for months and it was basically done (except for the finishing touches) a few days before Christmas. And it is also the first time EVER that all of us were there together to celebrate Christmas ...the whole clam was there, including Umang who visited Sarawak (and the longhouse) for the first time ..so it was a very noisy affairs with 3 kids and 7 adults in the house :-)

We went back to the longhouse on 23rd Dec - and believe it or not, we used 3 cars! Too much stuffs to bring with us, specially with the kids' stuffs taking about half of the storage space...we also transported the presents and the food stuffs ....luckily we have a spare Christmas tree at the longhouse, so i was tasked to set it up and re-arrange the presents ..mountains of presents this years - and more than half are for the three kids ....Al was the most excited at opening presents hehehehe and he helped adik to open adik's pressies.

Christmas is usually time for family - to know new family member, rebonding of the relatives and strengthening family ties ...we have 2 new family members this time round - Umang and her daddy ....dad was introducing them to our close relatives ...we had a private bbq party at the cottage on Christmas eve ....which was a roaring success ...everyone was very happy ...to finally be on holiday hahaha I was the odd one coz I was on leave since the 20th december :-)

Dom and family plus mum went to chrch early on Christmas day, while I stayed back and do the cooking ..a very untypical christmas dish ...as making sup tulang (request from my dad), and re-heating the dishes that my mom had cooked before she left ....Umang and my sister also stayed back coz they are preparing to go to her inlaws' place after lunch that day ....she wants to wait for everybody to get back from the church and to open our presents together ....

Umang having her breakfast on Christmas morning

Mum wanted a portrait with all her grandkids ..but it was not a smooth process ..all three kiddos were not co-operating as they were more interested in doing their own things ...hahahah poor mum ...after a few attempts, the pic above was the best shot of the lot ...both al and adik were doing their own things hahaha

Umang's other aki came just before lunch to pick them up ....also Umang's first trip to her dad's longhouse ...they left after lunch, and after we opened our presents ....and guess what, coz we were so disorganised (hahaha) we completely forgotten to have our family photo on Christmas morning!

The rest of the holidays were great ...lots of visitors - my cousins and their families came over to see mom and dad ....other people from the longhouse visiting from door-to-door ...it was such a merry holiday :-) Usually Gawai is merrier than Christmas ...but somehow, I just feel that the last christmas was awesome ...dad had a grand time ...I had a good rest, doing absolutely nothing but eat, sleep and be merry ...

we also went to Pantu to visit family friends .. this elderly couple has been friends with my parents for a long time.

We waited for Umang to come back to the longhouse on 29th before heading back to Kuching. Dom & family meanwhile, headed to his inlaws' on the same day as they were spending the NY with jane's mom. It was a tearful scene again when we bid goodbyes ...especially for my sister and Al ....Coz by the time Jane and the kids came back to Kuching on NY day, Umang would have already reached KL ...so, that's explains the tears and the sad faces

the sad scenes - it was always like this everytime these two say goodbyes to each other!

It was a great and memorable time spent with family. It is very seldom that we get a chance to be together under one roof every Christmas ...at least dad was very happy to see everyone there. He kept on saying that, if his parents are still alive, my grandparents would have been very proud of us ...my granddad died in 1987, whilst my grandmother died in 2004 ...that's why our longhouse is empty, and we only stay overnight there like 1-2 times a year ....but now that dad has renovated the place, and it is beginning to look like home, i think we will be going there more often ...