Self reflection in Bintulu

It's 9.34 pm on a Sunday night. I am in a hotel room in Bintulu ...i just arrived in town about an hour and a half ago...I dont know what to do ...I dont really know the town, and when I ventured out just now - in search for food- most of the shops are already closed! Mind you, it was only 9pm ...the only things opened at this time are the eateries and the pubs/karaokes/lounges ..and there are plenty of those around the hotel ...

I didn't feel like eating out alone, so I just had mee goreng - takaway - with bottles of mineral water. Right now, I am blogging while having my dinner in bed! my mum would definitely disapproved hehehe ...

I am not sure what I am  planning to talk about in this posting..my mind is seriously blank - perhaps I am consciously blocking certain things out of my mind - I do not know. I am surprisingly calm today - was not rushing to pack my things, and was not rushing when it was time to go to the airport ..and this air of calm is still with me...the previous time, my heart was already doing the flip-flops days before the hearing ...but today it just different. Maybe I am hardened by the previous decisions? Maybe I am not hoping for anything but more like "berserah", leaving it to fate ...I honestly do not know. I hope that tomorrow is a good day for me ...but if it is not, i am praying for God to give me the strength to overcome this hurdle yet again ....i will keep this in mind, if God is not granting my wish on the  spot or at this moment, God maybe saving it for a better, more suitable time in the future ...

But one thing that I realised on my way to the hotel was that I have a great support from my family, my friends and my colleague! my collegue and a former boss texted me and offered his help, which I find very humbling. My other friends - you know who you are - are always behind me 100% and that means a lot to me...

before i am getting mighty emotional, I am logging off ...it will be a long day tomorrow ...